I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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