so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
