I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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