2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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