sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My ass is underappreciated
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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