I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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