Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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