They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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