butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
