Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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