i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
