her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
