He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize