You can't special order awesome
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My life is pants optional.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
