I think i peed on brittanys purse
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
