thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
