im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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