Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
