drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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