He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize