he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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