It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
