so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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