Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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