She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
