My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
