Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
