I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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