We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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