I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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