if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
