Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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