Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
