i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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