But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
