Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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