Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
