i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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