does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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