Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
