When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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