false alarm. still invincible.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
