I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
