she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
