Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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