we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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