she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
