i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
