Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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