i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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