I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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