I hate your face
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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