How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
