ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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