I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
