when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
its not stalking. its research.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
