Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
