just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize