Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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