I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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