i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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