bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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