I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
