there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
