New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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