Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize