I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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