They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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