But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I love black thongs
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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