just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
