i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
