I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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