just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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