Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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