As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
