used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize