I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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