Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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