sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
